You are in London. Am I right about that? Yes. Cause that’s in the book you described being in London, so yeah, you guys doing okay with the coronavirus and everything?
Me and my family go doing okay. I mean, we’re making the best of it where we’re quite positive about things and yeah. We’re okay. I mean, we kind of enjoyed ourselves dare I say, but my heart goes out to a lot of individuals and businesses that are going to the wall, so, you know, but we’re okay. Jumpsuit job seems quite secure. So but yeah, I mean, I don’t really know what to make of it. I don’t, I don’t buy into the politics and the, the sort of conspiracies too much. I just try and stay away from that. Cause it’s just, I’ve got all the rabbit holes I want to go down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand. Yeah. We’ve had a lot of trouble here in the U S obviously, but
Could you turn the audio, down, just a little bit? I think you might be a little loud. Would that be on the microphone? I think, yeah, try turning the microphone down just a tad and then there’s no way to know how it’s going to come across on cast. So hopefully the audio engineer, Nick will deal fix it if there’s a little bit how’s that, that seems a little better. Okay. I can tell you down further. Okay. Yeah, let’s do that then. Just a little, just because on my end it’s almost clipping, but it could be, it could also be the microphones in my ear. Okay. That’s down a little bit more. Okay. That seems really good. And I sound okay.
I’m really good. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. So where are you in the U S
I’m right now in the Mississippi Valley region of Missouri. So I’m outside of St. Louis. I when the pandemic around like November,[…]. So it’s a paranormal hotspot, Missouri, Mississippi river Valley region. So yeah. But all right. You want to get started with the interview? Yeah. Sure. Okay. So my first question for you is that, how did you get started with DMT? And I was just wanting to know, you could talk about how you got interested in the chemical, how you first started taking it, those sorts of things.
[…] I was browsing the internet and I’d heard about legally purchasable research chemicals, and that I’d looked into an alternative to what MDMA, which I could no longer secure for home use. And I came across it and then pathogenic psychoactive compound known as six APB, which was attracting rave reviews on the website. So I purchased a view and found the experience of swallowing one or two tablets comparable, if not sometimes superior to ecstasy,uthat would typically see me sleepless lit up all night feasting on wealth of information available on the internet. And it was through one of those such nights that I chanced upon DMT V but it molecule documentary. I’d never heard anything like it before in my life. Uthe significance of what was being stated was remarkable. And,uthe goosebumps dimple in my skin, no doubt, significantly aided by the six APB,uspoke of the,usignificance of my reaction to what I was seeing.
And I knew upon seeing that I knew I simply have to try DMT. And I said about purchasing a quantity of, excuse me, memos are still this route back. I purchased that and it, it sat in a cupboard for months and months while I undertook online research into other people’s experiences. And eventually my curiosity reached the point where I really wanted to have this breakthrough into hyperspace experience. Yeah, all that online research and imbued me with cautious, respectful DMTs reputation as a psychedelic, unlike any other. And has it been many years since I’d last frolics with LSD magic mushrooms, I decided to test my psychedelic navigation skills. And so I purchased upon it of magic truffles ships from our good neighbors in the Netherlands. And I’ve been had, you know, an experience, an ego death on those magic truffles.
I was satisfied I could progress to, to DMT. And it was after a couple of failed attempts or DIY extraction that I eventually managed to procure extract the crystals. Woke up one morning, delighted to find my glass dish sat in the freezer speckled with pure white crystals of mind manifesting treasure except I had no idea how to smoke them. I didn’t know. I had not researched that, that there’s an art to smoking DMT. So I was on successfully trained to smoke them, using test tubes and glass tubes all to no avail. And now, you know, chomping at the bit to finally experience the substance. I horridly fashioned a makeshift pipe from a redundant. The beer can piercing several pinhole, punctures into a small depression pressed into the side of the can. And with my wife overseeing me, I one Sunday noon time, I sat up on the bed and Greely and excitedly vacuum down my first lung full of potent DMT vapor. Now almost immediately my lifelong persistent tinnitus, which I’m completely comfortable with on expectedly increased significantly in both intensity and frequency, the air space throughout the room, exhibited extreme crystal clear clarity countless decorative dimples on the ceiling, spackled, spectral colors from the sunlight. And given that my tinnitus had been such a significant aspect of my early childhood is fair to say that I was not only overawed by the power of the substance, but completely enamored by that low dose experience. And it was without question from then on, I would pursue DMT.
Hm that’s very interesting. And then was that, did you have an entity encounter on the first time that you used it or was it
No, I, I don’t think so. I, I just amplified my own psycho-spiritual constitution. I didn’t know it at the time, but that’s what gives the room that unbelievable crystal clear clarity, this uncommonly dense medium, that, that emanated from me caused the sunlight streaming through that uncommonly dense medium to cause all the deep dimples on the ceiling, in this bedroom to radiate with spectral colors, it was remarkable, but no, there’s no sense of any entity contact. And you know, my wife was looking upon me and she said, okay, you’ve tried it, leave it alone now. And I was like, no way, this is, this is something else.
So your sense is in that first time you used it there was an expansion of consciousness and you became more perceptive.
Oh yeah. I mean, I, yes, but that wasn’t aware to me at that time that those, those arguments have become clear to me as I’ve progressed with it, but that’s, that’s why my argument happened. The effect of the DMT in increase in the intensity and frequency of my tinnitus audibly within perceptively without was the room became crystal clear with my own emanating. I dunno, you can call it mind stuff. Psycho-Spiritual substance astral fluid. I’m not really hung up on the nomenclature. I think I’m just interested in, this is the initial effect of smoking DMT and remarkable, you know, remarkable. And yeah, here we are.
Yeah. Can I ask about that tinnutis?
Yeah. The tinnitus. Yeah. I mean, I think I’ve tried to emphasize this in my written work, my books, but this was a, I mean, I have it, I thought it was it. I have it now, but when I was young, really young, it was, it was loud, especially alone in bed at night. And I would focus on this sound and it was just, you know, resulted in some really bizarre experiences out of body B classic outer body experiences where, you know, you leave your body and you can, will yourself fold and will yourself through closed wooden doors. I never actually left the house. I was very young, but I had several of those. So from a young age, it was evident that something within me that that can exist outside my body. And yet strangely perceive the environment just as my lateralized CVO environment of the experience as we’re feeling it in probably an infinitesimally small in comparison to the size of the bedroom.
And then that would slowly transpose and I would feel expanded well beyond the bounds of the bedroom. Like I was in a huge dome space and this is me being very young and focusing on that tinnitus. And you know, I mean, I couldn’t understand why my parents never spoke about, you know, I assume they have that same sound in their head, but nobody ever spoke about it. I don’t know. No, it was years later when, you know, as an adult at work and I’d asked somebody, you know, at work, I said, listen to, I love that. Just that sound in your head, you know, when you’re in a quiet room and he couldn’t really hear it. And I explained what I meant and kind of looked at me as like, you’re hearing things in your head. And it was like, Oh, I just, the conversation bombed and made me look like, you know, dude’s got something in his head, but you know, I know, I know tinnitus can arise through industrial disease as a hearing loss.
I know there’s a genuine there are medical symptoms that arise through a variety of things, but I’ve heard this all my life and, and, and Eastern philosophy it’s has a very different interpretation. It’s more considered, you know, for spiritual factor. I mean, I’ve come to assume. It’s, it’s evidence of an interface between my immaterial self and my physical self, but I mean, yeah, I mean, when DMT turned up the volume of that, I mean, this, this point I really want to drive, it was on Dow become enamored with it because that sound had been such a big part of my life. And especially my early childhood, that DMT increase that, Oh, wow, this is what is this magic substance.
So I just wanted to make sure the audience knows that tinnitus in the United States, if we’re about the same thing, I understand that it’s it’s I, a persistent ringing sound that you hear and it’s usually, at least I’ve always heard it’s associated with hearing loss or damage, I think. Yeah.
Yeah. That’s that points up. Yeah. I mean, it can be associated with industrial hearing loss, industrial diseases. But I I’ve had it all my life. I know other people who, since I’ve published have come to me and said, what you wrote is just fantastic because I’ve experienced the same thing. So it seems some individuals just seem to have that natural persistent tinnitus and, you know, I’m, I’m, I’m one of them.
Absolutely. And I’ve also heard from reading on the DMT literature, that one of the most common things that happens when people smoke for the first time is they hear a ringing sound
That’s right. Yeah. They, they hear a ringing sound. Whereas what happens with me because I’ve already got that sound there. I mean, all the time when I’m at work, w when I’m home watching TV, when I’m having a meal with my family, I mean, I can hear it now, even though when I’m in a conversation, I can hear it within my head. You know, my response upon smoking DMTs that, that the intensity and the frequency of that sound increases significantly in proportion to, you know, the number of installations and, and the dose of DMT that I’m taking.
If you consider you, you might be already tuned into some frequency, maybe you’re sensitive to the DMT or aligned to it in some way.
I mean, I don’t think of myself as anyone. I’m just a regular guide. I don’t think I’m special or anything like that, but I do find it interesting that, you know, I, I thought this was just common to everybody, but it seems not. So I don’t really know what to make of that. I mean, some people suggested, you know, maybe you have a well-developed or sensitive pineal gland. I don’t know. I mean, everybody’s different, you know, you get some humans that physically and physically strong, and some of that, you know, fantastic IQ, we’ve all got different you know outward features and mental different capabilities. And maybe this is just something that, that I’ve been blessed with. I don’t see it as hindrance. I’m completely comfortable with it.
That’s very cool. That’s very interesting. I think that might be just an important thing to keep in mind, too, just that you might say I’m not different from other people. I don’t think of myself as different, but we don’t know.
I, I, I, I’m dealing with psychedelics I’m I have to stay grounded, so I won’t, yeah. By kinder he’d say so, but yeah, I imperative of stay grounded.
Very interesting. So could you describe how you first began to encounter entities while using DMT?
Well, so from there, my, my second experience was 15 milligram and it was in, in the bedroom. You know, I smoked and, and laid back, and this is one of the hardest, I mean, I’ve since come to be able to distinguish and enter the experience, but this one was really unusual because I laid back and I could still see the bedroom, you know, as clear as I see it now. And yet on the ceiling, there was this oversized image, and it was like an old cinema graph movie, you know, two dimensional on sort of CPR, monotone coloring. And it was me and my family. And we were all holding hands you know, my, my boys were much smaller than, and we’re all walking. It’s really happy scene. And I’m laid on the floor, looking at the ceiling. Me and my family are up on the ceiling, looking down at me, all smiling, all happy, walking, you know, holding hands.
And I just, I was like, you know, I’m giving you a thing with the MTS, ordinarily, you retain your rational senses. And I’m looking at me and my family looking at me and I’m thinking, how the hell is this happening? But, you know, I came from that experience. You know, if I was enthusiastic after the first experience, this experience just raise my enthusiasm even more, you know, it was like, this is unbelievable. I, I really got to pursue this. And what’s, what’s interesting about that is, you know I think there’s a book touches on schizophrenia. I think it’s called something on the origins of the influence of machine. There’s a Wikipedia entry about that. And something in there talks about this, of cinema graphic, hallucinatory imagery, and, and what I saw the style of wine, I saw really fits that mold. And I’m not, you know, I’m not here suggesting I’ve got any schizophrenia disposition, but the sort of commonality between what I’d seen on the experience and what I then come across more than months on end, that Wikipedia entry were really interesting.
But yeah, it was, you know, from the note, so in Maura mom, in the next experience, then it was like, you know, the, the bedroom had gone or the room that I was in, you know, seemingly disappeared. And it looked like I had gone to another world and that world was people with Yuma, like entities who were absolutely delighted at my arrival and, and, you know, come out with that. And it’s like, shaking your head, you know, like Terence McKenna said, you know, you, you say you can’t believe it and you repeat that over and over and over again, because you genuinely in ontological shock.
Yeah. Are you saying that the first time you used it, you just had perceptual experiences the second time you saw a hallucination of family and you together. Yeah.
Yeah. So, yeah, so it was like, it was like, it was like I was on the floor and it’s almost like a projector was beaming onto the ceiling, this old cinema graphic style movie of me and my family, all oversized, I mean, appearing much larger, you know, the, my regular size, all walking in this lovely scenery and holding hands and smiling. And I think the point I’m trying to not make, but the point I’m th th the question I’m asking is the uncertainty I’m raising is, I don’t know if that was a product of my own mind or whether there was an entity present. I wasn’t aware of it because of my I was still a novice, you know you know, to two experiences in. So I don’t know if an entity was somehow, you know, putting that hallucinate risk senior scenery on the ceiling, but either way, the outcome was that I was, this is, this substance is so remarket. This is unbelievable. You know, EV I spent months and months reading lots of hundreds of reports from other people like that. They’d all gone out the window. I was no longer in interested. I’d forgot about why Rosa hack up, pursue this more and more. This is unbelievable.
Did you have a sense that it was a very meaningful image then that you were seen
In the sense of my reaction to it? Yeah. I mean, if it was put there by an entity or the entity, I suppose it did it in a manner that elicited the reaction, my reaction, which was, wow, this is beautiful. You know, I got to pursue this. There was absolutely no reason why you would not want to have another experience based on that. So I, I think I, I suspect there was an entity involved. It wasn’t clear to me. I just can’t buy that. My mind would somehow I can’t see how my mind would project. Well, I can, but I just don’t think it was my mind projecting that moving cinema graphic style imagery onto the ceiling in the bedroom, but you know, who knows?
So in retrospect, do you think that it was too rich and detailed of an image of a hallucination for you to have generated internally? So you infer that it might’ve. Yeah,
Yeah, of course it does. Because with, with all of the experience, the earth proceeded from the iPhone, I’ve not seen any evidence to suggest that my mind could produce those kinds of effects. Not saying, you know, in the grand scheme of things, it never cooked, but on my DMT experiences, I’ve never seen my mind create something as beautiful as that,
That seems to be another consistent theme of a DMT experiences that people talk about things being hyper real, or like more real than real. And you see so many people will insist like I know that this is real because like, it, it feels more real than anything I’ve ever seen in life. Well, I mean,
When you, when you’re in that breakthrough experience, absolutely. It looks far, far, far, far more real than real life. I mean, the, the, the, the colors are rich. The, the, the, I say surfaces in inverted commerce appear without blemish, so smooth, you know, perfect without, without any, any dimples. And I think, you know, I do think there’s a science or the spiritual science behind, behind this, you know, that, that can say, well, you know, the reason it’s like that is because of this, this, and this and that. And what I’m proposing is that it’s the, the uncommon density of, of that substance, that, that gives it, that, you know, a real than real appearance. And when I say uncommon density, I mean, let’s just fast forward to me taking my research outside and smoking in the garden. And that same, you know, whether we call it astral fluid or psycho-spiritual substance, our consciousness, our mindset, you know, you can actually see it, you know, filling the local sky insignificantly.
There’s a bountiful amount of you know, immaterial substance hidden within our physical frame and, and DMT can powerfully unleash that. And I’ve done that on a, you know, a windy day and the leaves are blowing and the trees are bending. And yet that substance is just sat there. And it’s just not yielding to the wind one little bit. It’s, you know, the wind triples it not. And I think that same kind of shows that this, that’s why I call it an uncommon substance. It’s something that we’re not readily familiar with until you see it. And even then see time and time again, as, as I have done. And I’m sure others have on, on, on DMT XBR through DMT experiences.
Can we, can we talk about that part of it, the, you talk about psycho, spiritual mind stuff, literally bubbling out of you. You talk about it, filling the room, you talk about I guess what I’d like to ask Dick is you, when you earlier you described things being hyper real realer than real, but then when you describe the psycho-spiritual mind stuff that sort of bubbles out of you is that also relearn and real, like, do you, because it sounds very abstract.
Yeah. Okay. So when I, when I first started smoking DMT the effects with a low dose where I will get this really sort of colorful sort of mindscapes, you know, he’s like in my mind XY, but you know, also in front of me and, and as I’ve progressed that that’s diminished. And even now, if I, you know, I smoke it, I don’t see that. I see this psycho-spiritual substance, this mind stuff, concept whatever rapidly expanding from me. The, the point I’m driving home in my research is that that initial effect of DMTs significantly alters one’s setting people talk about set your state of mind in New York, you know, you’re setting where you are and the initial effect of smoking DMT and, and, you know, expanding your, your main stuff, you know bubble, like you have significantly changed your setting. And it seems that that, that reaction is attractive to a certain classes of hidden entity, and they will respond to it.
And you know, I say, respond respondent. This happens so quickly. You know, I mean, you can be smoking a pipe, three poles, you know what I know now, if I’m on my second poll, I consent, I can receive the arrival of the entity, palpably perceive it, because that expanded mind stuff. When you become familiar with the capacities, you realize it as it, you know, you can sense the arrival of something within the room, and even then you’re taking then your third and final hit. And, you know, this thing is there, you know, it’s watching you and it’s just waiting for you to solve, lay back and put the pipe side and exhale, and then it just imposes on you. So I don’t, if I deviated from your original question there, but I was trying to make the point about, you know, the, the metaphysical mechanics of, of what in effect is a breakthrough experience.
Well, let’s talk about the entities that you’re describing, because you described a variety of them in the book. And some of them, you talk about being very high energy. You call those a cult masters,
And then, yeah.
I mean, you also described some that seem like less than sentience. There’s one really interesting experiment you describe in your garden where you said you had an entity that manifested as a dome over the garden, and you said it seemed intensely angry, but also to have very narrow consciousness. And so it made me think that you were describing the equivalent of like a paranormal guard dog. It was almost like it was barking down at you, anger, anger, anger, but you said it seemed to have a very limited unsophisticated mind. Am I repeating, am I interpreting that correct?
But you, you, you are. I mean, I would say by far the, by far the majority of my experiences and certainly all of my experiences and AOS have been interactions with that class of entity that I can call a cult masters by far the majority. So any experiences that are not called masters, they really stand out from the main body of my research to me. So the one that created the dome, I can picture now myself in the garden. I can see this overarching, you know, psycho-spiritual dome formed off the entity. If I said that, I said that I must’ve intuited that, but equally I remember another experience smoking in the garden and I was wearing sunglasses and I was only wearing sunglasses to try and avoid any retinal stink from looking up at the sky, but I’d smoked. And I’d like back in and, you know, they sent it to your eyes and it’s, you know, it’s trying to interact with me, but the seconds are crucial.
If it doesn’t secure the interaction within the first few seconds, it’s not going to happen. And I was, I was messing about with my sunglasses or not, I guess I have to be on, this is how it probably wasn’t taking that experience as seriously as I should. And they, this entity just, I, it just went, it just seemed to go, but mere moments later, this other entity came and this is going to sound unbelievable, but, you know, you know, in a car you get there the air bags that inflate rapidly when there’s a crash, the best way I can describe as this other entity, it kind of took something similar beneath my backside, which was, you know, I was laid on the garden on the grass, but there are these like three, like sudden minor explosion is the only way I can describe it beneath my backside.
And it was like, I was getting smacked on the bottom. You know, it was like, I was, I was being reprimanded for my, I re my reaction, right. Response, you know, how I dealt with that, that first year attraction by messing about with my sunglasses. So yeah, yeah, that, that was something a new mentioned about the, the, the barking dog. I remember when experience in the house, in the small landing area at the top of the stairs and you know, smokes the area quickly, fill the volume, fills up with your own psychospiritual substance attract something I’m trying to, I think it was one or two entities and they were, I mean, they, they just seem like vicious dogs, you know, and I was like, looking away, I didn’t want to interact with these things. I think, I think this is the report I called psycho something about a psycho-spiritual police Constable because of another entity I say, clearly came, you know, it’s how you perceive things and seem to be admonishing this other entity or two entities.
But yeah, and, and what you’d said reminded me, I remember one other experience and this entity come down and it’s in the garden. And it wasn’t like a breakthrough experience, but this like really beautiful crystal clear being, I mean, really remarkable. And, and I’ve only encountered this kind of entity once. And I, I thought that this entity, this particular entity was had a very narrowly defined intellect and a chance to just put my hand up and sweep my hand through it. And I didn’t know, really when you do that through your own psychospiritual substance or, or your own, and that of the incident, you get trace a trail, you know, like repeats a tracer. But when I swept my own throats and say, I have never experienced a trace of trail, like it, there was just like hundreds of, you know trails of, of my own hand.
And I, I don’t know, I just felt this was it wasn’t a very narrow intellect. This was I dunno, I felt it was a an entity that was full of love. You know, it was really, it’s just on a very different level, maybe even to the occult entities, you know, maybe they’re sensitive what it lacked him, wisdom it made up for in love. I probably should qualify that by saying, you know, if it had that much love, it probably qualified our liver wisdom, but it was, you know, perceptibly and qualitatively different entity to the cold masters, I think. Do I have a quote about the must-haves? I think I might have you want to read one, that would be great to hear about that Nicole Colt masters. Yeah. I think I’ve managed to pull them from the book. Let me just jump on to that.
All right. Okay. So, so my respect and admiration for the wisdom and capacity of this type of entity is unlimited. I suspect they have mastered an awful lot from the world of the mundane and the arcane, and they imagine they themselves are still advancing and progressing slowly and by degrees on their own evolutionary arc. I did not doubt for one moment, the entity got to see me and understand me and did both instances possibly better than I presently see and understand myself. I mean, I’ve had encounters with these beans where I have, I have cried afterwards. I have tried to rip my heart out from my chest and an offering. I mean, the reaction that these beans can elicit from you, if, if you are sincere in your, you know, sincere and open in your interactions with them, it’s yeah. I mean, it’s the stuff of reverence and stuff, you know devout dare I say, it’s often devotion, you know, you really feel love for these beings.
And can you describe what is it that makes like an, a cult master come across to you as a master? And what was some entities you describe as being, like you said, that they’re more, they’re narrow intellect, they’re simpler. What, what makes them different in your experience?
They seem to have complete working knowledge of Fuman physiology and human psyche. It’s like they are the instruction manual for how we’re made, how we operate and all the little switches and leave us within our psyche that may cause operator. And they, they can manipulate that, or they can just, just seems like there’s nothing that they cannot do. I mean, let’s give an outline. I’ve had, I had quite a few experiences, breakthrough experiences, and I thought within those experiences that my lips have been sealed up, these entities seem to be able to impose this cuase I physical substance within your physiology. And, you know, I feel it coating the, the cheeks and the roof of my mouth and slowly, internally sealing on my mouth. But because of the highly mesmeric state I’m in now, I never, I never thought to sort of test the integrity of that seal, but it fell on my lips.
My mouth was closed and I wouldn’t be able to open it if I tried anyway, it happened once that the same thing, you know, breakthrough experience looks like I’m in another world, the entities invested throughout my oral physiology and it’s coated my mouth with this, you know super thin, but, you know, strange I physical seal. I know I try to open my mouth, could not open my mouth at all. And, you know, I mean, had I panicked that mouth would develop another entity would have gone so quick, but because, you know, I’m, I’m working on the basis of, of, of trust and submission, you know, just, just remarkable then to take that step further. I’d had an experience with an entity same as a breakthrough experiences, wonderful visuals, et cetera. It sealed up my mouth. I can’t open my mouth and I’ve got this lung full of air.
Not only is it sealed, my mouth is sealed up my nostrils as well, basically. I can’t breathe and I’m, I’m not trying to, I’ve got this lung full of air within men. And this lung full of air is obviously diminishing, diminishing and diminishing. And I know at some point I’m going to have to breathe, even though my nostrils are sealed at the mouth sealed up in tandem with that, the high-frequency ringing sound, let’s call it the tinnitus that the entities imposed on me. It’s just going off the scale. I mean, a frequency just incredible, and it reaches this crescendo, the exact point I need to nail. And then my nostrils are free. My milestone taken this much need to breath, and that’s taking this much need to breath. I’m kind of manipulated into speaking. And my voice sounds qualitive, Tivoli, so different, you know, through the strange medium. And I feel obliged to speak again and again and again. And, you know, it’s very clear, I’m under some kind of, it’s like I’m being dealt with as though I’m a puppet and physical being is the puppet master. And it’s just playing with me. I mean, I’m, I’m not pretending I’m not enjoying myself. It’s just delightful, you know, it’s fantastic, but I can see why some people upon hearing this might think, you know, you know, it’s a taboo.
Yeah. I mean, it sounds a little scary and that, that leads me to one of my questions in here. Let’s see, I believe it’s the question. Number nine, you sometimes describe unpleasant challenging, or even terrifying encounters with the entities. And then a question 10, some of the experiences you described are so frightening. Was there ever a time that you were so shaken up that you didn’t, you didn’t want to continue anymore? And then what, what made you continue to do this after having these things sort of, you know, they put themselves into you, they’re probing you, they’re cutting off your air supply.
Yeah. I mean, let let’s, we’ll come to questions nine and 10, but I think, I think certainly for the benefit of, of, of listeners and I need to emphasize this, that by far the majority of experiences and, and, and I’ve been playful and wonderful and entertaining beyond belief. And within that category, I would put the entity ceiling of my mouth within that category. I would put the entities giving up my mouth and my nostrils, the occult masters, as I came to call them. And I say, if you show any sense of panic, I don’t doubt that they will Intuit that so quickly and they’ll be gone. And I know that because I’ve, I’ve had, I’ve had experiences where midway through I’ve, I’ve called a Holter. Maybe we’ll come back to those cars. Cause they were really interesting. But yeah, by far by far, by far by far, the majority of experiences, just wonderful, playful, entertaining beyond belief.
Like, you know, like, you know, when you’re a child and you’re laughing with glee, you know, and you’re beside yourself, that kind of form that kind of laughter like more fun than you can imagine, but there are some that are qualitatively different. So let’s come back to your question Dane, which as you say, you know, I’ve often occasionally described unpleasant challenging, or even terrified encounters with the entities. What compelled me to keep going. So I would say I completely bought into the idea of having devised my very own unsanctioned research program that I was undertaking very serious, very important and cutting edge research. My commitment was based on determination. I, and consider the challenge and encounters almost as a test of my resolve, something that had to be overcoming to make progress in my research now. And I think this has significance a little story about me, but back in my school days, and occasionally as a young adult, I suffered the rough of a bully by virtue of fixing them square in the eye until they look away knowing that whilst I’m unlikely to win a physical fight, I just gained a longer-lasting and to my mind, far more meaningful victory.
And it was on operating on something like that mindset fellow in a challenging DMT entity encounter something like I’m not going to allow you to get away with that. I will return. And you know what, every time that I did return after a challenging encounter, it seemed to work the reward of a really wonderful rewarding encounter. So I saw the challenging ones as a test of my resolve. So if you want to proceed beyond this and see more, you’re going to have to come back, we’re going to put the Frighteners on you in this experience. And it’s going to test your resolve and yeah. You know, I’m, I’m, I’m glad I did. I was very determined but also very respectful and I didn’t feel I was acting foolhardy. I was, you know, I made it very clear or as best I could to these entities that I was conducting and documenting research, you know, I mean, I didn’t express that verbally, but you know, thought transference or trying to project what I’m thinking.
And yeah. Question 10 is about some experience described as so frightening and you’re asking them was a time I was really shaken up and didn’t want to continue. And where the people close to me shaken up and didn’t want me to continue. So it’s often the case that with the MC that one’s ego reacts vocally and vigorously in rejection, any suggestion of commitment to DMT and somehow the user has to find a strategy to overcome that. So dealing with internal appeals to proceed, it’s pretty commonplace. However, there was this one occasion when I was home alone and those appeals where they were furtherly beseeching me not to proceed and rather stupidly I ignored those appeals. So what follows now is a quote from DMT or my Michael mine to one done. Yeah. Okay. So I’ll start. I, okay. I’m in the bedroom of, I’ve smoked DMT, sorry.
I’m in the landing and I smoked DMT and I’m not clear whether there’s an entity there or not, but I’ll start from the quote. Okay. I know I was doing, dealing with the most unwelcome and unsavory idea. That’d become fixed in my head. How could I know if the idea was born of, as a gesture made to my mind, I was one bond from the dark substance of my own mind. How could I be sure of one of the other, and now could I be sure the two are not working together in Legion or as a combined in short, I was dealing with a really terrible busted of an idea that was refusing to budge from inside my head. Some things seemed intent on making, making me seem red and acting in a remote manner. I questioned how would I ever deal with this awful nonsense?
I came to the very difficult, but very honest conclusion that buckling this up would not be in any way helpful. And there was on that basis. I realized I would need to approach my wife and broach the matter with her on the sooner I did it the better, because unbeknownst to my wife, she was the focus of those ill motive, machinations that Dan will speak plainly. And I gotta be honest that that was one hell of an experience that scarred my mental health. I mean, the scenario seemingly spelled the end of my research, it certainly resulted in a period of cessation I on reflection. I don’t think I’d ever, I don’t think I’d ever had a true appreciation of a darker terrain of my psyche and the delicacy with which, you know, when the sanity holds this subtle balance. But that experience gave me a startling insight into that particular matter of my mind. And I now see the mild mental scarring that resulted from that as somewhat analogous to it.